LETS HAVE SOME FUN

Did you hear the one about the guy
who couldn't read or write
so he went to the school
to sign up to learn how
and they handed him
a pen and a form to fill out?



ICE CREAM PARLOUR
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?

No," he replied, "arthritis".



FOUR LITTLE ANIMALS
A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"

A little girl raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals."

The teacher asked, "Really, and what four little animals would that be?"

The little girl answered, "A Mink on my back, a Jaguar in the garage, a Tiger in the bed and, of course, I'll need a Jackass to pay for it all."



FISH IN THE BAG
A Polish man was walking down the street, carrying a brown paper bag. He ran into one of his friends, who asked, "Hey! What do you have in the bag?"

The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one."

The man says, "I'll tell you what. If you tell me how many fish I have in this bag, I'll give you both of them."



5 YEARS OLD LITTLE BROTHER
A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.

It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"




MILLION OF STARS
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see".

Watson: "I see millions and millions of stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."